


Our Own Little Happily Ever After

by Caedmon



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Introspection, Natasha Feels, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 11:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5125577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha rarely opens her heart and tells Clint what she's thinking or feeling. He cherishes the times that she does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Own Little Happily Ever After

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes. If I did, AoU would have been a _completely different movie._  
>  Kudos and comments are the lifeblood of the muse, and so very appreciated.  
> Send me prompts, or just talk to me! clintasha-n-olicity.tumblr.com  
> Rated T for mild swearing and mentions of Natasha's past abuses while in the Red Room.

“I didn’t think love existed until I fell in love with you.”

Clint opened his eyes wide at the unusually tender admission from the woman whose head was nestled into his chest. Natasha was not typically forthcoming with her emotions; he’d long ago accepted that he was the emotional one in this relationship. She would reveal her thoughts and feelings to him occasionally, letting a small crack in her armor show to him and only him. He knew she loved him, that had been established years ago. But she wasn’t the type to belabor a point, and he knew better than to push. 

So this...this candid little confirmation was a bit of a surprise, to say the least.

He decided to probe it a bit. If she was feeling gushy, he absolutely wouldn’t say no to her telling him how he felt. But Natasha Romanoff was delicately wired, and he was very aware of how quickly she would clam up if he hit just the wrong spot. 

“Is that so?” he asked, and snuggled her closer.

“Yeah. I mean, I guess I know that my parents loved me, but I pretty much lost the belief in love when I ended up in the Red Room. There wasn’t any room for love there. When my trainer started beating me with her crop, it kind of chased any belief in love and happily ever after away.”

Clint tensed, just as he always did when she talked about her treatment as a child. The desire to go back in time and protect her from those bastards was nearly overpowering, and it never diminished. 

“Any act of kindness was punished. I remember one girl, Ivana, getting lashed and left outside in the cold because she gave me part of her bread at a meal. We were taught to look out only for the interests of ourselves, and even then only as long we could be a benefit to the KGB. We were absolutely dispensable if the KGB wanted it so.” She wriggled a little, adjusting against him. Clint raised his arm, letting her take whatever comfort she wanted from him then he draped his arm back around her in a loose but firm hold. 

He wanted to tell her he was sorry that it had happened, tell her of his desire to bomb the hell out of the facilities she’d been housed in and put an arrow through the eye of every person who had hurt her. But Natasha didn’t accept pity well and he knew it would only piss her off. He kept his mouth shut.

“That’s why it was so hard for me to accept you, I think. To trust you.” She stroked her thumb lightly up his bare back. “Until you spared my life, the greatest kindness I’d known in fifteen years was one of my marks pouring champagne for me. Isn’t that a horrible thing?" she mused. "The greatest kindness I had known was someone not killing me. That should be a matter of course - but it wasn’t.”

Clint struggled to keep the tension out of his body. “I’m so glad that I was the one who showed you some goodness, even if I don’t feel very good most of the time.”

“You did, though, and I was confused by it. I figured you must want something from me. But you didn’t. And you kept coming back over and over again when I was in holding, and you were always so… so _decent_.” She said the word as if it were an unbelievable entity, nearly spitting the word. “Eventually, I had to accept that you were just a good man. You weren’t trying to kill me or make me do things I didn’t want to do, or get into my pants. You didn’t want anything more from me than for me to deprogrammed.

“You’re the reason I agreed to join SHIELD, you know,” she continued. 

No, he hadn’t known, and the notion caught him by surprise. “Really?”

“Yes. I was offered a placement in SHIELD’s witness protection program or the opportunity to join SHIELD as an agent. I chose to join as an agent. They put me with you on their own, I didn't have to ask. But I was thrilled.”

“I had no idea about that, Nat,” he said honestly.

“Mmm,” she acknowledged him. “I think they wanted you to keep an eye on me; you being Hawkeye and all, you'd be the best person to see if I wasn't toeing the line. It wasn’t long before I wanted much more than your eyes on me.” She grinned against his chest and he chuckled. 

“It took me forever to realize that I was in love with you. I felt it for a long time before I admitted anything to myself but didn’t know what it was or what to do with it. And then when I did realize it, I had to fight this huge internal struggle because I had convinced myself that what I felt wasn’t real. That it was just this emotional unicorn that everyone believed in and sought and talked about, but it just wasn’t real.” She sighed against him, and her breath was a warm tickle against his hairs of his chest. “Happily ever after was a bunch of shit in my mind, you know? A fairy tale, and I’d learned a long, long time ago that fairy tales were bullshit. But you’re real, Clint. You’re real and I love you and I honestly believe that we have a shot at happily ever after. At least, as far as it exists. It's not exactly a realistic notion.” 

Clint held her and looked at the wall opposite him as she talked. He had no idea what to say next. She’d rarely opened up to him this way. But he knew that she had made herself vulnerable to him, and he treasured that - even if he wouldn’t ever acknowledge it. He sensed her request for confirmation and debated for only half a heartbeat before he gave it to her.

“I love you, too, Nat. And I’ll do anything to get you our own little version of happily ever after, or die trying.”


End file.
